Happy One Month Birthday Eli!

Dear Eli,

Could it be true...you are one month old already?! It seems like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. And you are growing quickly!

You have spent much of the past month in Daddy's and my arms! You love to be held. You cry when we put you down, but are very content when we don't.

Here is what else we have learned about you:

~ You have the sweetest, most kissable cheeks and I kiss them all the time!
~ You like your pacifier best when we run it under water first
~ You get fussy, in the morning especially, just before you are about to fall asleep
~ You like to have your tummy massaged when you are having gas pains
~ You like to have your cheeks and head stroked anytime!

Here is what we still don't know...

The best nighttime sleeping method for you! We have tried lots of things: swaddling you with arms in, arms out, heartbeat sound nearby, in the sleep positioner in the pack 'n play, in the boppy pillow in the pack 'n play, in the boppy pillow on the couch, with Mommy on the couch, with a shirt of Mommy's wrapped around you, on your tummy, on your side... and we still don't know what you like best! Well, yes we do know, and that's in our arms but we can't do that all the time sweet boy! So we are still working on it and praying that God will comfort you through the night so we can all get some sleep! Sometimes we have to just let you cry for awhile until you fall asleep, and it breaks my heart! You get so hot and sweaty and so worked up that you sound like a hissing cat! We hope that by next month you will be more secure on your own. (Please Lord!)

We are seeing you with your eyes open wide lately and I just love it! You have big eyes, and sometimes look just like Gage did as a newborn!

I can't wait to find out just what you will look like later. Will you have blonde hair? Blue eyes? But I do know one thing for sure...you have the cutest dimples! And you have even smiled at us already! I was able to catch both this morning:

Sweet Eli, you are a precious addition to our family. I feel even more complete with you here. My prayer for you is that God would grow you healthy and strong, that you would feel comforted and secure enough to sleep through the night, and that you would know how much we love you.

A thought struck me yesterday that brought tears to my eyes...I was made to be your mom. God made me to make you. What an honor and a privilege.

I will be loving you always,
Mommy

A Mother's Heart

My sister gave me a wonderful book for Christmas called: "You are Captivating...Celebrating a Mother's Heart" by Stasi Eldredge. I highly recommend it. She so beautifully describes a mother's heart. (She also wrote "Captivating" with her husband, John Eldredge, who is the author of "Wild at Heart")

I started reading my new book over the weekend and connected with it/her instantly! I couldn't believe how well she described in the first chapter exactly what I have been feeling...

"Motherhood is a hard thing. As time passes, our babies are born and leave the safety of our wombs; they crawl and walk and then run away from us. In fact, a good mother is working toward the day when her son or daughter will healthily and happily live completely independent of her...The joy of being a mother is so very closely linked with the sorrow of being a mother. It is holy ground."

Oh, the joy and heartbreak a mother endures! It is beautiful and at the same time bittersweet. I do want my boys to be independent and self-confident, but I will enjoy those arms reaching for me for as long as I can...

Party Time!

Well I am definitely learning that there is not a lot more to life right now than feedings, changing diapers, and keeping up with the laundry! So unfortunately my blog is way down there on the priority list. But please stay with me - I will do my best to keep my many "readers" up-to-date on our lives! :)

Celebrating Gage's 1 year birthday was a very special event for me! I have been really sentimental about him turning one. I think it's a big milestone! A lot happens in the first year that will stay with him forever...growing teeth, hair, and sense of humor! Learning important words like "mama" and eating real foods. Sitting up, standing up, and almost walking. Our sweet boy has accomplished a lot in the past year and I was excited to celebrate him!

A few days before the big party (yes, quite last minute, but I did just have a baby...:) I created a scrapbook of Gage's monthly photos as well as other significant events over the year, while Craig created a slideshow of all of my favorite photos from birth till now. It was fun watching the slideshow with everyone and having all of our guests write a message to Gage in his book. I cherish what everyone wrote and hope he will too someday.

He enjoyed opening his presents, and I enjoyed putting everyone to work unleashing the toys from their tight holds in their boxes...


His first piece of cake, which he ate like a pro! You'd think we've been feeding him cake for months now! But I am not surprised that he has a sweet tooth like his mama.

To have Craig's family, and mine, together in our small house, was a treat. I was thrilled to see that everyone fit just fine!

All the Engelbrecht cousins (and their dads):


Eli was conked out the whole time! He spent the afternoon snuggled in many loving arms. Great Grandpa Faust had his turn too.

Our Birthday Boy on his actual birthday on Monday:

We had Casey's pizza for dinner, a very small piece of birthday cake for dessert, and just a few more presents to open. Whew, lots of celebrating...because this one year old is pretty special!

A Love Letter

Dear Gage,

One year ago today you came into this world at 10:41am. But your story actually begins nine months before on a Thursday...May 8, 2008... when you began as a twinkle in my eye.

I will never forget, it was a sunny spring morning when I found out that you were growing in my tummy. After many, many months of hopefully waiting, this was the day. The day I found out that YOU were coming! I fell to my knees next to my bed and with tears of great happiness and joy I praised the Lord. I couldn't wait to tell Daddy, and the whole world!

Daddy and I spent the next nine months anxiously awaiting your arrival. The time couldn't pass fast enough! Finally on a wintry Saturday, January 3, you made yourself known that you were ready to come. We got to meet you 18 hours later, our sweet, precious baby boy, on January 4, 2009.

And now, one year later, you aren't my little baby anymore, but my delightful, energetic, funny, adorable little boy who brings me, and everyone who knows you, such joy.


I have to admit I am a little sad to see you grow up. I don't want you to outgrow your precious innocence. Or the hugs, kisses and snuggles you give. Or the awe you have in discovering new things. But I know I have to let you go. The minute I first held you close was the very start of letting you go. Letting you be you, letting you learn from your mistakes, letting you grow into who God wants you to be.

The next time I write you a birthday letter you will be 2 years old! I look forward to what this next year has in store. I love watching you be a big brother to Eli! You are so sweet, already giving him love pats and pacifiers. He is lucky to have you!

My prayer for you sweet Gage, is said best from these words in a great song...
"Be strong in the Lord, never give up hope. You're going to do great things, I already know.
God's got his Hand on you, so don't live life in fear. Forgive and forget, but don't forget why you're here..."

You will always be my first miracle, my precious Gage. I will always be holding you close as I let you go...and I will always be loving you,
Your proud Mommy


Look at that curl! LOVE it!

Then and Now

One year ago on Christmas Eve our family consisted of:

me
and Craig (making hamballs!)


This year on Christmas Eve our family consists of:

me, Craig, and TWO more...

our two precious sons.

What a difference a year makes!

Eli's Birth Story

Today is Eli's due date. I wonder if we hadn't induced, would he have come by now or would we still be waiting? Dr. Lines, my OB, knew it was a tough decision for me to induce, so after he was born and we learned his birth weight was 9 lbs. she said, "Aren't you convinced you did the right thing? Next week you would most likely be delivering a 10 lb. baby!"

So, no stories of driving to the hospital in an ice storm and stopping at Burger King on the way, but a wonderful birth story all the same. We were ready to leave the house by 7am, said goodbye to my mom who came to be with Gage, and drove to the hospital with my stomach full of butterflies! My heart was heavy to leave my little boy for the longest I've ever left him, but I was so excited that the day had arrived when I'd be meeting my little "mover and shaker" I'd gotten to know over the past nine months!

My mom and my sister were the only two who knew the exact day we would be inducing since they were both planning on coming to care for Gage while we were in the hospital. Right before we left for the hospital my sister texted me this verse: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you." Deut. 31:6 What a great reminder. I needed that.

Once we were checked into our hospital room I was much more calm. We were in the exact same room where I delivered Gage! We had a wonderful nurse, Jenny, up until 3:00 and then found out that Beth would be taking over (hopefully my delivery nurse) who we remembered from last time and loved! I could feel God wrapping me with comfort and confidence that all would go well.

Dr. Lines broke my water at about 9:15am. I started feeling contractions within the hour but they were sporadic and hard to even measure. Craig and I spent the morning playing games, walking the halls, watching tv, and just talking. It was such a great day! By noon we decided it was time for Pitosin. Nothing really got going though until Dr. Lines came back around 5pm and checked me. I was at a 4. I couldn't believe it - 8 hours later and only at a 4! Whatever she did though was just what it took because by 5:30 I was getting an epidural! At 8:45 we knew I was dialated to 8 and we hoped for a baby by 10pm.

Dr. Lines came in a little after 9 and said I was complete! So I pushed a few times and Beth said, "I can see hair!" Really?! I was shocked! Last time it took over 2 hours of pushing to get to that point. And the next thing we knew she was paging the nursery nurse to "get here right now!"

All of a sudden Dr. Lines said to me, "Heidi reach down and take your baby." Those were the most beautiful words to me. And the second set came next..."It's a boy!" What I wanted so badly. A little brother for Gage!

I had several moments to hold my new little boy, white slimy stuff and all! Everyone laughed at how much he was touching my face, making me white and slimy too. The nursery nurse just waited patiently until I was ready for her to have him. It was such a treat! I didn't want to let him go.

And now it was time for us to get on with a name for him... Eli Craig it would be, there was never really any question. That name was in my heart the whole time he was in my womb.

So that is Eli's birth story. A long, wonderful day for me, a quick entrance into the world for him, the Lord seeing us through it all. One of the best stories I could tell!

And so came our JOY...

After nine months of waiting, anticipating, imagining and worrying...
Eli Craig Engelbrecht joined our family on Wednesday, December 16 at 9:19 pm.

He came into this world with ten long fingers, ten long toes, two dimples, many long eyelashes, and a hearty cry. He is our beautiful blessing!

After nine months of shock, awe, and disbelief... our JOY came on a beautiful winter evening.

Welcome to our world baby Eli! We are a better family with you in it.

Another Side to Gage

If you read the 11 months old post, then you know I mentioned Gage has been demonstrating his little temper lately. Well, I actually caught it on camera today:

What a face! We think he is still pretty cute even when he's upset! :) Here he was getting upset because he wanted the camera. Thankfully he gets over things quickly.

And now on to making the next mess...

O Christmas Tree

Last year the only Christmas decorating we did was a very mini tree with white lights on an end table in the living room and a poinsettia on the kitchen table. And that was just fine with me - I had more important things on my mind, like having my baby anytime around the holidays!

This year, being in the same situation, I was content doing the same thing, but a part of me really missed the larger tree and decorations around the house we used to have. Well, we were so blessed to have some friends who run a Christmas tree farm over Thanksgiving weekend (and through the weekends over the holidays) bring a real tree back for us! Craig and I have never had a real tree before! And although it's very simple, and all of our ornaments are in storage so I spent a total of $10 at Wal-Mart in decorations, I absolutely love it! Gage does too - he says many "ohh"s while looking at it...

Dear Gage...11 Months

Dear Gage,

You are now 11 months old...so close to one year! I can't believe it! It is so fun watching you grow and change. Well, most of the time...! I have to admit, this past month has been the most challenging so far. You are displaying your strong will and frustration these days, just as all babies eventually do, so we pray that we are doing a good job in guiding you well!

Something that is fascinating you lately is the garbage can! You love lifting the lid and seeing what you can pull out. No matter what we do to steer you away you always go right back. The first time I put a chair in front of it you crawled into the kitchen and just cried and cried because you couldn't get to it. Now you have realized that you can move the chair...You are just too strong for your own good!

In just one month you are now:

~ Standing on your own! One day you stood up using a box and then let go with your arms out for about 5 seconds. You knew you did something great and I cheered and cheered! Then a day or so later Daddy got to see you stand up right in the middle of the floor without using anything to hold on to. Do I see some walking in your near future?

~ You love to grab my fingers and take off walking! You would do that all day if I didn't tire out. You know where you want to go and lead me all around, quickly!

~ Clapping, a lot! One evening you were watching a show with Daddy and something must have struck you funny because all of a sudden you started clapping and laughing. After that you clap at all kinds of things and when anyone else claps first. It is so cute!

~ Waving! We would see it every now and then before, but now you wave when someone else waves and when we say "bye bye"! It happens at home, at church, at the grocery store...

You still love your walker and you are going faster and faster now. No more old man moves from you! Last week I was talking to Daddy in the living room and all of a sudden out of nowhere you tore past us on that walker! Oh we laughed so hard! It was such a funny sight, especially because before that you usually needed our help in getting started.

You are such a silly boy! You make me laugh so much. I love your funny faces, the way you bend over with your head touching the ground just waiting to be flipped over, and spontaneous things like this:

When I was working on something at the desk, out of the corner of my eye I could see you reach for the extra bibs nearby and when I turned you were holding one on top of your head just waiting for me to look at you. Silly boy!

"Driving" around one of your books:

Some tidbits I don't want to forget:
~ You have 4 teeth on top, 2 on the bottom and one more that just popped through!
~ You love pulling your hair - especially at mealtime which can create quite a mess!
~ You have recently started saying "ohh" when you see something you want!
~ You are very attached to your yellow blanket, the one that has been there from the beginning...It makes you so happy!

Sweet, sweet Gage, I just can't express in words how much I love you and how proud I am to be your mommy. You are so special. My prayer for you is that you flourish in all the special traits that God has blessed you with. Very soon you are going to be a big brother! I know it is so soon, and you will have to share me then, but I know you will be such a good big brother and I can't wait to share our lives with another Baby E!

Next time I write you are going to be a big 1 year old!

Loving you always,
Mommy